Friday, March 24, 2006

Team Ramrod tours Central Asia

Dear Patrick,

Many greetings from the eastside of the mighty Lake Washington. In response to your queries, I am well other than my eyes bear the strain of staring at a computer for the better part of today. I wish to send my deepest thanks for your gracious hospitality this evening past. Your welcome of myself and my lady companion echoed quite brilliantly the deep fraternal undercurrents whispering throughout the subject of our viewing, Red. Similarly, I applaud your efforts to engage in discussion with other participants on the right daft adventure unfolding before us. Surely the spirit of camaraderie you endeavor to cultivate shall make its value apparent at a later and more needful time.

All due compliment aside, I must unshutter the dark windows of reserve which have thus far disallowed open discourse on a most important subject. I suppose you took the first step via electronic mail earlier today, but I must say the manner of your delivery, with its spirit bordering on the blaise, and the limited scope of your suggestion disconcerted me.

Although I possess the battered nylon string acoustic guitar of which you spoke and it serves no purpose now but to patiently await the time when it meets destruction for a higher cause, I hardly imagine it solving our current musical needs. Bear as it might, six strings, and change their pitch one may by wrapping a set of fingers around the telegraph pole masquerading as its neck, it is a guitar in name only. I simply cannot imagine undertaking this journey without a proper instrument, all ruggedness aside. Furthermore, I declare our mighty cause to 'Make the World England' truly underserved by a few preposterous flamenco stylings on a fruitbox tarted up with nail polish and fretwire.

Despite the ominous shadow I cast upon the issue, I remain positive. A possible solution may be found by increasing our ranks to three, by inviting along the Epiphone. It is a masterpiece of low-cost engineering: eminently playable, strikingly finished and imbued with a dark spirit of a depth sufficient to partner with the vast unknown expanses of Central Asia. I can testify both to its steadfastness and pleasurable tone.

An acoustic guitar however, in its very nature is wedded to fragility. So I have considered bringing along the newest thoroughbred in the stable, the Stratocaster. Although lacking a soundbox, this sleek beauty carries with it a legendary reputation for near indestructability, a fact to which Buddy Guy will testify when pressed. Like a windburned Eleanor of Acquitaine, if she emergeth she may be the worse for wear but unvanquished in her essence. Also, the strat aptly bears the name Natasha, or perhaps too aptly for I harbor fears of the treatment she will experience being passed amongst the many and varied hands out on the road.

An electric guitar may also be amplified, and while this poses some difficulty far from the reaches of civilization, I have a few ideas. I believe a Nissan Micra bears appropriate dimensions such that the backseat may be removed and replaced with an array of speakers, four each of 10" and 12". These could be connected to a couple of cathode tube amplification units for a magnificent, continent-deafening sound machine capable of travelling over 31 kilometers in an hour. I shall be sketching schematics later this evening.

A most important point not yet raised concerns the ratio of guitars to drivers, which currently is at 1:2. I propose this be raised to something more sensible, such as 1:1 or possibly even 5:2. Possessing no possible escape from the other's personality, it follows accordingly that we might sharpen our skills in the duet in the time provided us. I can picture no finer delight than a brandy-drowned rendition of His Majesty the Hedgehog delivered full-volume at half past midnight in some sleeping village on the arse end of 71 degrees East.

I view myself as a fair chap, believing in a balanced division of labor. Since this task of finding suitable instrumentation in sufficient quantity could very well be an extended and nebulous effort, I volunteer for the good of the team to see to its completion. While you handle visas, insurance, vehicle registration and the like, I shall roll up my sleeves and visit the various guitar merchants and traders about and suffer their fork-tongued practices that we might find suitable accompaniment. I confess, this issue weighs upon me moreso than any other, save what finery shall comprise our costumes on this expedition. It shall be good to throw these horses overboard and raise our mainsails in more favorable winds.

Most Sincerely,
Rod Farva


Blogger Patrick said...

Accept my compliments, friend and codriver, for while I was content to merely flirt with freaking out, you apparently have gone and married her!

8:43 PM  
Blogger Kathryn said...

I'll have y'all know, I was at Barnes and Noble last night and I thought I'd see if I could get you a map or a travel guide for Mongolia. Guess what? They have not one single fucking book or map that even includes Mongolia as an ASIDE. Not anywhere.

Have fun and take care!

11:54 AM  

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